The South will rise again!

Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he
decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into
his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I
need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would
you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."

Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the
day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked." Henry
had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the
successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the
deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal
Henry!"

Louisiana
A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I
hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in
Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in
the rest of the civilized world.

Georgia
A man in Georgia had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind
it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he
drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the
fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The
passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the
front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me neither."

South Carolina
"You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of
anyone retiring to the North!